to picture anyone else...

The perfect beautiful bubble has burst. My 'sign' came, and it basically said stop.  After tuning me out, he forgot about me.  A few too many distractions and 'poof!' its like I don't exist.  I was devastated, after it sunk in -such a beautiful dream I clung to had to die hard & its hard right now to picture anyone else in my imaginary happy heart.  I'm afraid I'll never feel the same way about him as I did.
I waited like an idiot, feeling special, lucky, adoring how he thought he 'had to just come say goodbye', 'twenty minutes is still twenty minutes.' a short 'bye', hanging up the phone a leaving.  Not so much. Waited. Let Yvonne and Mai know to alleviate some weirdness... went to the door and looked down the hall (writing this out is so sad)  I have to leave and get Kara for her dentist appointment, but can just wait another minute... where is he? ...is he okay? is something wrong? I wonder what happened. I walked out the door and down the hall, pretty sure I would run into him, through the servers, out the door, past the break area... there's no way he could be at his desk. explanation then 'bye'. Sitting there.  Messaging, smiling.  Nothing. 'hey'. smiling. No explanation.  'Say goodbye.' Took my hand, have a good night, 'here's a note for you, read that later.' Walked away. Stunned. Shoving it away. Don't think.  The note just said,'Frank 000-000-0000 If you ever just want to let off some steam'  Let off some steam irritated me after I looked at again later.  What wrong with the word 'talk'?! Talk is a perfect word for what I need, why couldn't he use it? 'let off some stream' sounds like a booty call. I considered ripping up the note.  'I'll call him when this all gets rectified, he'll have to give it to me again'...
I needed that not to happen.  I was crushed.  It only took three days for him to start tuning me out, taking me for granted and fail to follow through on a fucking simple promise.  I will not ignore you red flag.  To be in tears over someone after only three days of talking is not good.  Its not right.  He knows (Monday's long, hour? long talk, so perfect, so comfortable -I couldn't wait to tell him how wonderfully, uniquely, bizzarely easy to talk to he is) the fragile situation I'm in, if you want me to give you the love I feel and I know you need, you know to be careful with my heart.
So, in me, it feels over.  I'm grieving.  Attempting to not talk to him today (see if he realizes, I think he doesn't even realize what's happened, which, in a way makes it worse) and dreading running into him again.  Unless... he comes looking for me.  And shows me, and asks me, and wants me... I could die.