Self-Worth

I feel so disappointed, I let down my heart, and its about to hit home.  I still have a breathless crush on him, though I know I need to let go, let things happen.  But I just ran into him and he seemed so down, so quick to avoid me, avoid eye contact, to say nothing.  It was in the stairwell, he opened the door just as was walking up, said 'hm,' and looked down.  I know I played a part in getting this type of reaction, but it hurts.  That is so different from the guy I fell for and so far from the reasons I fell for him.  I loved that he was so exuberant and happy and now, what and who is this?  Did I do that to him or is he just moody?
I'm trying to, have set determination to, find a balance between stop obsessing and focusing on and examining my life as it is, seeing how I can be better, what I can make better; and the same time keeping a sense of gratitude towards him, not forgetting him completely but finding a way to express appreciation to him for what happiness I've had because of him, what inspiration he's been a catalyst for.
After this morning's run in, I'm pushing away the danger that I may start to feel that perhaps I really don't deserve a good man who is crazy about me and isn't afraid to express it.  The high that that new hope had given me, a hope that felt so close to real, I fear may come crashing down.
I will not be such a coward next time, I will have a solid perspective and remember to always be grateful for anyone who is willing to put themselves out there for me. (even if its just a fleeting crush.)
I need a firmer grasp on my own self-worth.  I may be getting one.  This whole trial may just be a test.