The Sister

So, my sister has made herself a big life decision and I couldn't be more proud of her -and perhaps a bit envious!  She is moving to western Pennsylvania, a whole seven hours away!  She's moving with a friend that she is already currently roommates with (Senum? I think is her name, L says she's Turkish).

My sister and I are not especially close, though I think we both wish we could be.  She's a difficult one, moody, defensive, a bit prone (now much less than before) to explosive anger.  I'm an internalizer, sensitive to people's temperaments, and because I do care about her (big sister syndrome) I've found it agonizing to be around her.  I made a conscious decision to step back (her reaction -or lack of- to my pregnancy was intolerable).  We tend to start out well at first and get to rambling.  We both really enjoy a good convo session, which is one of the reasons I wish we could be closer friends.  But then emotions ring in.  We stumble through a few awkward moments, negativity and/or stress builds even when we are both attempting our 'best behavior' and eventually I end up feeling like I want to bolt.

I managed to get the whole of my family together to send her off last Saturday (Kara's first Hibachi) and the dinner went well.  Thanks to my dad and Uncle D it wasn't the 'monetary investment' I thought it would be -I was trying not to think about it, it was important to me to get together with my sister before she left.  I mean, when would we see her again? We're talking seven hours away!  But the contribution is greatly appreciated.  I invited her to my house afterwards for some wine -she had to pick up a bin of cookware that ended up at my house while cleaning out my grandmother's.  So we had a good talk.  Some great prosecco (a good call by L).  We stayed up late, had fun.  And eventually that need to bolt feeling I mentioned came.  I try to always be positive with her, divulging too much personal information is always bad, and avoid giving her advice.  However, she tends to want to give me advice when I slip up and let down my gaurd, which I did that night, and I had to stifle, and still am, infuriation.  She will never understand my situation, let alone how it pertains to who I am as a person, and because I care about her I hope she never will.  I will not demand respect from someone like L.  Let her go, with well wishes.

 The awesome prosecco we killed on Saturday night, light peachy fizzy flavor.  Definitely getting again.  Zebra sticker courtesy of my little KB.  I got the girls sticker books to keep them occupied at the restaurant.  Which lasted less than five minutes! Ha!

 

The book, and author, my sister is currently into.  We're both big 'secreters' and this guy is one of the people quoted in The Secret.