Crushes work hard on me. Letting this one go is hard and sad. How many other good (warning: who MAY be good) men will I dodge and turn down? How many chances at happiness will I miss out on? And because of what?
These voice messages make me feel a little better.
Demitri the Creepy 'Catch'
Hilarious.
I have a conversation in my head where a friend asks me what my type is. "Projects. My type is projects. Financially irresponsible, some type of substance addiction, unmotivated... that's what gets me."
"I think marriage is for suckers."
"But you have issues."
"This is true." Nodding.
"Maybe you're not ready to start dating yet."
Smirking, "Maybe not."
In the rush and head-strong determination to start my 'real' blog, I've paralyzed myself. I don't know what to write, I don't know what pictures would work... I don't even know what I want to say here. Feeling uninspired and timid.
Yoga tonight. Maybe I could spend the time on me instead daydreaming about Jimenez. I was in good place, an almost great place a few weeks ago. A little closed off, but dealing well and being positive. Not sure what happened. ...most likely a series of things. I'm searching for a new perspective.
For Kara. Ever notice how giving yourself the goal of being a better mother really means being a better everything? A better person, a better cook, a better housekeeper, a better financial provider, better at being healthy, better at dealing with emotions, better at being prepared, better at setting goals and achieving them... Here's to the journey of 'better': examining where I am now and clarifying where I want to be while striving to get from here to there.
No comments:
Post a Comment